Sunday, 19 September 2010

Remembering Grandma Carswell

Over the weekend, my Grandma Carswell (dad’s mum) passed from this life into eternity. She was 91 years old and had lived a very full life. We are obviously sad at her passing, but as Christians, we don’t grieve without any hope, knowing that she trusted in Jesus and so has gone to be with Him. One day, we will be reunited with her, as well as being face to face with Jesus.

Living here in NZ, it’s not possible for us to be back in the UK for Grandma’s funeral, so I thought it would be good to remember her and to share some memories online.

Born in Aleppo, Syria, to an Armenian father and a Greek mother, Rhoda Grace Carswell (nee Manoogian) was a refugee from birth. Her family were escaping the genocide of Armenians which occurred between 1915-1917. The stories of God’s goodness on the family and His provision for them are remarkable in their own right, but Grandma’s individual story is equally remarkable. As an infant, she was given little hope of survival, and yet, from the difficult beginnings came an amazing life.

One of the quirkiest facts about Grandma was that she went to the same school (Brummana High School in Beirut, Lebanon) as both Osama Bin Laden and rather bizarrely, Dom Joly! Neither were her contemporaries.

She grew up in Beirut and studied at the American University of Beirut. It was during the war, whilst working as a secretary, that she met my Grandfather and eventually married. After marrying, they moved to the UK and settled in Leeds, where they lived for the rest of their lives.

My memories of Grandma Carswell are happy ones, but several characteristics stand out:

Hospitality

Earlier this week, Nigel Pollock commented on a sign he saw outside a Kiwi Pub which said “Hospitality is making people feel at home even if you wish they were.” Grandma was the perfect hostess. She knew how to make people feel at home and did her best to ensure people felt that way. I could give numerous examples of this, but perhaps the best is that after entertaining people, Grandma used to keep records of what she’d fed people, if they’d particularly liked something, what they’d talked about etc, so that if they were ever to return, she wouldn’t produce the same meal twice, unless of course, they particularly enjoyed something. She’d also ask follow-up questions to the areas of conversation from their previous visit asking with great detail. I know all this to my cost, as in my teenaged years, I once commented how I liked a beetroot relish that Grandma had made and for several years, I received beetroot relish with every meal. Eventually I had to confess I was no longer as big a fan as I used to be!

Communication

Grandma was from a pre-computer & mobile phone era, and yet she was simply unsurpassed in her communication. She was a letter-writer extraordinaire. In the years before arthritis affected her hands so badly, she would type letters that were then sent worldwide. In more recent years, they were hand-written, but all demonstrated a desire to communicate widely. There were very few times at her house when she didn’t have a letter that needed posting as we passed the Post Box on our way home. But she was not simply a good letter writer, but also a good talker! Conversation never really stopped with Grandma, and she used those skills well to speak to family & friends worldwide on the phone.

Resourcefulness

Being brought up as a refugee, Grandma knew the value of being resourceful. She never took anything for granted and was ahead of her time in recycling before it became fashionable. Anyone who received a Christmas present from her soon learned not to thank her for what they appeared to have received by the appearance of the packaging. Many a time would I have received Weetabix, or something else entirely inappropriate, if I had not opened the present more fully! Whilst there was an amusing side to this, there was also the salutary lessons we learned in appreciating all that God has given us, and not being wasteful, particularly in relation to food. To this day, I dislike wasting food in any way, and I take that as something Grandma passed on.

A wonderful marriage

Grandma & Grandad were married for over 50 years. Apparently, in that time, they never once had an argument. At Grandad’s funeral, it was commented on how he described Grandma as “his rock”. They had a wonderful marriage, where their commitment to each other and love and care for each other was clearly evident. They both contributed to this and it speaks volumes of them.

Faithfulness and simplicity

From my earliest days at Grandma's house, one of the abiding memories was that of breakfast with my Grandparents. Without fail, we used to have breakfast (Shredded Wheat & raisins on top), which was supplemented by spiritual nourishment. Every day, they would read out loud from ‘Our Daily Bread’ – a collection of thoughts based around a Bible reading, following by a simple prayer for the day ahead. It was a simple time each morning, and yet in the simplicity was a profundity.

By making time for God at the start of the day, they were making a statement that God was at the centre of their lives.


Grandma’s life and death will probably not hit the headlines. However, she has had a significant effect on many people’s lives. We grieve because she is no longer with us, and we miss her company, friendship and character. But, we don’t grieve as people who have no hope. We have a sure and certain hope that she is with Jesus forever in heaven. Grandma made it clear that she was trusting in Jesus in her life, but also in her death.yes"> She knew that Jesus had died for her sins and that through Him, she had experienced forgiveness and the gift of eternal life. As the Bible says
“We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God

will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.”
(1 Thessalonians

4:14)

We know she has gone to

be with Jesus, who promises that “There

will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of

things has passed away.”
(Revelation 21:4)

What an amazing promise from the One who never fails.


4 comments:

Paul said...

Very moving memories and photos, Ben. Thanks for taking the time to share them - and hopefully it helps you process the distance and the absence at this time. We love having you in NZ - but it comes at a cost at a time like this. Our love to all four of you! Paul

Ben Carswell said...

Thanks for commenting Paul.
Dad was commenting this morning about how he enjoyed your latest PL. I think there's a "spiritual gift" of letter-writing - Paul obviously had it!
There is a cost that the work brings, but we don't regret it. We know that He is worth every sacrifice we make - they're just small sacrifices compared to what God has done for us. We love being in NZ & are doing our best to see a population increase here!

Nichole said...

A very heartwarming post.
~Nichole

tot said...

Thanks for sharing, Ben. My condolences. It sounds like she's such an amazing person! =) May God comfort and carry all of you through. God bless.
-Shirley